Comments on: May: border of the seasons http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/may-the-border-of-seasons/ Haiku express moments; hailstones are momentary things; frozen in time, they are stored here in the circle's icebox Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:10:09 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Tito http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/may-the-border-of-seasons/#comment-238 Tito Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:02:19 +0000 http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/?p=199#comment-238 Have reduced the size of the second (superfluous) photo and put your last section in italics to make it seem more like a footnote (which in truth it is!). Better? Have reduced the size of the second (superfluous) photo and put your last section in italics to make it seem more like a footnote (which in truth it is!). Better?

]]> By: Hisashi Miyazaki http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/may-the-border-of-seasons/#comment-212 Hisashi Miyazaki Wed, 28 May 2008 06:27:26 +0000 http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/?p=199#comment-212 Thanks for all your kind comments, helpful to make a new post next time. Laughing cockoo, actually a translation of "hototogisu" by Tito, cries like girl's laughter, kyakkyakyakya, or as Tito says,‘ha-ha-hahaha’! I like the translation because of its cheerfulness. Usually in Japan, however, it is said that the bird violently cries as spitting blood. Shiki, suffering from TB, called himself 'Hototogisu子規'. Thanks for all your kind comments, helpful to make a new post next time.
Laughing cockoo, actually a translation of “hototogisu” by Tito, cries like girl’s laughter, kyakkyakyakya, or as Tito says,‘ha-ha-hahaha’! I like the translation because of its cheerfulness. Usually in Japan, however, it is said that the bird violently cries as spitting blood. Shiki, suffering from TB, called himself ‘Hototogisu子規’.

]]> By: Gerald http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/may-the-border-of-seasons/#comment-209 Gerald Tue, 27 May 2008 17:34:34 +0000 http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/?p=199#comment-209 the short matter-of-fact tone of the prose followed by the picture was an interesting lure for me. the haiku artfully changes the direction of the context with a subtle combination of surprise, humor, and mystery with the lines 'after lunch' and 'cuckoo laughs'. I'm intrigued with what you're doing with the prose/picture/haiku combinations. I agree with Tito and Viking about cutting the second photo and caption. Perhaps it could be developed as seperate piece? the short matter-of-fact tone of the prose followed by the picture was an interesting lure for me. the haiku artfully changes the direction of the context with a subtle combination of surprise, humor, and mystery with the lines ‘after lunch’ and ‘cuckoo laughs’.

I’m intrigued with what you’re doing with the prose/picture/haiku combinations.

I agree with Tito and Viking about cutting the second photo and caption. Perhaps it could be developed as seperate piece?

]]> By: Viking http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/may-the-border-of-seasons/#comment-202 Viking Tue, 27 May 2008 13:59:58 +0000 http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/?p=199#comment-202 I feel this would be quite poignant if it was just the first photo and then the haiku. They are so tangential that it makes one think of being absorbed in the flower and noticing all of a sudden the oddness of the cuckoo call and the men laughing. (I wonder if the word 'laughs' is not too anthropomorphic and obvious of a human reaction. Maybe chirrups or ha-ha-haaaaas or something more cuckoo like would give a hint while preserving the naturalness of the scene. Just a thought.... I feel this would be quite poignant if it was just the first photo and then the haiku. They are so tangential that it makes one think of being absorbed in the flower and noticing all of a sudden the oddness of the cuckoo call and the men laughing. (I wonder if the word ‘laughs’ is not
too anthropomorphic and obvious of a human reaction. Maybe chirrups or ha-ha-haaaaas or something more cuckoo like would give a hint while preserving the naturalness of the scene. Just a thought….

]]> By: Tito http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/may-the-border-of-seasons/#comment-199 Tito Mon, 26 May 2008 03:37:48 +0000 http://hailhaiku.wordpress.com/?p=199#comment-199 The haiku is what this posting is really about, and nice it is. I feel that it is lost in the wealth of other verbal/visual information. The laughing bird in the last line is, presumably, not the usually-imagined 'cuck-ooo' type (郭公), but rather the 'ha-ha-hahaha'-calling hototogisu (ホトトギス) cuckoo species, often heard in the summer hills here in Japan. Choosing categories to post things in (here, spr.-sum.-haipho) sets us to thinking about the chief characteristics of what we are creating. I would remove the category 'haipho' here. Yes, there's a haiku and there are photos, but a haipho (like a haiga painting) should typically be a haiku with one photo intimately juxtaposed. This is perhaps closer to an illustrated haibun or an account featuring a haiku. Perhaps cutting the second photo and final sentence would help the art. Art and information: how to balance the two? The haiku is what this posting is really about, and nice it is. I feel that it is lost in the wealth of other verbal/visual information.
The laughing bird in the last line is, presumably, not the usually-imagined ‘cuck-ooo’ type (郭公), but rather the ‘ha-ha-hahaha’-calling hototogisu (ホトトギス) cuckoo species, often heard in the summer hills here in Japan.
Choosing categories to post things in (here, spr.-sum.-haipho) sets us to thinking about the chief characteristics of what we are creating. I would remove the category ‘haipho’ here. Yes, there’s a haiku and there are photos, but a haipho (like a haiga painting) should typically be a haiku with one photo intimately juxtaposed. This is perhaps closer to an illustrated haibun or an account featuring a haiku. Perhaps cutting the second photo and final sentence would help the art.
Art and information: how to balance the two?

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