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drawing a palm tree -
raven
landing on a branch
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This entry was posted on May 26, 2008 at 5:44 am and is filed under Haiku, Winter . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed
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May 27, 2008 at 10:54 pm
A bold touch to make the middle line a single word!!
May 30, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Great to hear from you, Gilad! 2 questions: why did you post this as a Winter poem, and it’s you who is sketching the tree, right? People will be interested to read your angle on it. Of course, your verse cannot help but bring to mind the famous Basho autumn haiku, kare-eda ni (crow on a leafless tree). I see the frondy palm-branch swaying with the weight of the bird. How good it is to be able to record and share moments like this with friends across the world.
June 1, 2008 at 2:13 am
Hi Gilad. following Viking’s comment above, ‘raven’, as a single word line (without an explicit article), has the feel of a proper noun to me. it’s as if the formal announcement of the arrival of a guest, or a friend, is being made. ‘r/Raven’ might wish to be sketched too!
June 10, 2008 at 8:06 pm
I like Gerald’s comment. Raven with a capital R would also conjure up the spiritual figure of shamanism so popular around the Pacific Rim. This would invest the haiku with the sense of ‘drawing down’ the deity from on high…
June 15, 2008 at 12:45 am
hi Viking, Tito, Gerald, ICEBOX community. thanks for your comments :) It was winter in Tel-Aviv. I sat in a classroom studying something. from the window I saw a palm-tree-top, and started to draw it. the scene was nice – winter clouds (gray sky), the perspective of the window and the tree (green). and then – a raven arrived , landing on the treetop. The raven was fast and surprising (black from above). I could only catch this moment with my Haiku notebook – a Raven indeed !!
August 26, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Another posting, please!