(Ogi Pass, Ohara, 4.12.11)
please click the photo to read the haiku more easily
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This entry was posted on December 5, 2011 at 6:43 pm and is filed under Autumn, Haipho with tags 英語俳句, Photo haiku. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed
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(Ogi Pass, Ohara, 4.12.11)
December 5, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Nice angle on the photo and a skilful bit of technological montage of which I’m envious…I love the sentiment of the haiku but am disturbed by ‘fallen’ in the last line given the context of the photo. How would it be if ‘fallen’ fell out and was omitted? I think the rhythm would run better…
December 5, 2011 at 10:21 pm
John raises an interesting point: with the photo, ‘fallen’ becomes redundant. Without the photo, the word is necessary in order to prevent the reader from imagining the leaves are still on the tree (a different situation/season).
Cherry-birch, by the way, is ミズメ (betula grossa) with large rounded triangular leaves that seem to give off a fragrance resembling that of 桜餅. Mizume birch contains the same type of natural oil as does the Oshima cherry leaf wrapped around the famous confectionery.
On the day of the hike, the smell was a little mystery that had us stopped in our tracks for many, many minutes.
December 6, 2011 at 4:44 pm
this is a fine haiku by Tito-san
much enjoyed reading it
captures the feel and aroma of autumn beautifully.
after reading it I felt the scent becomes the trail .. would like to follow it .. probably a fine scent .. cherry birch leaves. But at the end of the poem why the ? the hiker is not sure if it that really is the scent , maybe just cherry but cherry birch sounds better in the verse .. LB
December 16, 2011 at 10:04 pm
I too was lucky enough to partake of the aroma on the trail. Reading Tito’s poem reminds me that later in a tea house garden in Ohara, where outside most of the momiji remained, miraculously lucent, on the trees in the mid-afternoon sun, I ate a shiso (perilla)-flavoured soft-freeze. It was not to Tito’s taste….
おいシソうに見えても
苦手の人もいる
おシソの味の紫色ソフト
perilla soft-serve:
a perilous purple feast
for those who like it least
(Sorry Tito — いろんな意味で.)
December 16, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Phew, … I’m glad this was only a comment and not a posting!