This entry was posted on January 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm and is filed under Haiku, Winter . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed
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This haiku is in the tradition of “winter solitude” haiku written over the ages by Basho and most of the great haiku poets. I think it is interesting that each season has its own kinds of solitude and mood. Well done!
I might add this one:
winter solitude
in the white tips of pine needles
i can see the wind
Nice alliteration. Those “L’s” seem to bring out the softness of the moment, yet those “huddled seagulls” seem to stir a lonliness, or desire for companionship, within the poet. On one level, I was struck by the relationship between “flutter” and “huddled seagulls”. On another level, I primarily associate seagulls near beaches therefore, I can sense the vastness of where the poet is (figuratively and literally).
“snow flakes flutter ” ..
goes well with the wings of seagulls .. sharing each other’s solitude and whiteness .. a symphony in white ..
fine verse John, but i think that haikus should end in a concrete noun .. the last word lingers .. but this is only my opinion .. you could swap line 2 & 3
.. for company
only huddled seagulls ?
Being big on alliteration, I enjoy the sound of ‘snow flakes flutter’
as well as finding it an interesting contrast to the ‘huddled seagulls’ – in itself an unusual image.
How would ‘huddled seagulls’ work as the last image, swapping
it with the ‘company’ line?
There certainly is a sense of chill
and solitude here.
Beautiful haiku, indeed! It evokes a great atmosphere of serenity and peace (“flakes flutter”) with an inherent sense of togetherness(“huddled seagulls”) to combat the intensity of the cold.
January 27, 2012 at 11:01 pm
This haiku is in the tradition of “winter solitude” haiku written over the ages by Basho and most of the great haiku poets. I think it is interesting that each season has its own kinds of solitude and mood. Well done!
I might add this one:
winter solitude
in the white tips of pine needles
i can see the wind
January 28, 2012 at 9:33 am
Who are you, ‘Anon.’? Can we use the haiku above in our next Inbox posting, please?
January 28, 2012 at 5:36 am
early snow…
white stones glowing
under the bridge
January 29, 2012 at 10:43 am
Nice alliteration. Those “L’s” seem to bring out the softness of the moment, yet those “huddled seagulls” seem to stir a lonliness, or desire for companionship, within the poet. On one level, I was struck by the relationship between “flutter” and “huddled seagulls”. On another level, I primarily associate seagulls near beaches therefore, I can sense the vastness of where the poet is (figuratively and literally).
January 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm
“snow flakes flutter ” ..
goes well with the wings of seagulls .. sharing each other’s solitude and whiteness .. a symphony in white ..
fine verse John, but i think that haikus should end in a concrete noun .. the last word lingers .. but this is only my opinion .. you could swap line 2 & 3
.. for company
only huddled seagulls ?
February 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Being big on alliteration, I enjoy the sound of ‘snow flakes flutter’
as well as finding it an interesting contrast to the ‘huddled seagulls’ – in itself an unusual image.
How would ‘huddled seagulls’ work as the last image, swapping
it with the ‘company’ line?
There certainly is a sense of chill
and solitude here.
February 15, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Ｅｎｄ ｗｉｔｈ ’ｈｕｄｄｌｅｄ ｓｅａｇｕｌｌｓ’．Ｉ ａｇｒｅｅ ｗｉｔｈ Ｕ．
February 15, 2012 at 10:51 pm
Beautiful haiku, indeed! It evokes a great atmosphere of serenity and peace (“flakes flutter”) with an inherent sense of togetherness(“huddled seagulls”) to combat the intensity of the cold.