Both are nice, but possibly the haiku and the photo mirror each other too exactly? Although I usually fail to get the balance right myself, I feel that just as image juxtaposition 取り合わせ in haiku is best if there’s a gap (on occasion, even a gulf) between the two halves, in haiga and haipho too, ideally one doesn’t want the poem and the illustration to repeat each other.
Tito seems to emphasize creating a “gap” between the photo and the haiku. Because there is a prose element, perhaps rearranging the order of these three elements might help achieve some level of a “gap”? For example; Picture first; followed by the prose underneath, and then the haiku? A kind of circular effect, or maybe even a slow revelation as to what the picture could be about.
I like the sense of inevitability expressed in the first line of the prose (are the beech trees small enough to step on?). I also like the underlying tensions expressed in the haiku (trail, unmelted snow, and sunrays). Perhaps the images (the moment) might be presented more effectively in a one liner?