Cycling to the office

I didn’t see it in time—

caught a butterfly in the spokes.

3 Responses to “X”

  1. Great to see your voice! The last-line image is vivid and moving. ‘I’ (possibly) and ‘caught a’ (probably) could be sacrificed, though?

  2. Wow– this one gave me a sharp intake of breath– definitely the mark of a haiku moment.

  3. John Dougill Says:

    That’s quite a shocking haiku: death in a humdrum morning. I do agree with Tito though, as reading it the first time I had exactly the same reaction that ‘caught’ was redundant. Now I read it again, I’d say that ‘I’ in the second line is too. The omissions would make the haiku more taut and highlight the central image: ‘butterfly in the spokes’. And what an image!!

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