words

not knowing what to do

about this anger

the moon drifts among the clouds

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6 Responses to “words”

  1. I don’t like to think about a friend angry, or suffering another’s anger – experienced a lot of that when young. You did the right thing with it: bequeath it to the moon, the wind and the clouds. Perhaps the tribal peoples of the world know the wisdom of that, whereas we moderns just find ourselves ‘going outside for air’. Let’s leave the poem uncategorized, and see if anyone thinks it is a haiku, or evokes autumn, or whatever … Nice to have a short poem alone again. Thanks.

  2. The referent for the demonstrative pronoun “this” remains inexact, but nicely so. I second what Tito says. But I remain unsure whether the grammar altogether makes the bequest he speaks of (to the moon, I mean); which sly equivocation is what I like about the poem. Thanks.

  3. Hisashi Miyazaki Says:

    Very nice juxtaposition!
    There is no relationship between your anger and the drifting moon: however, the two curiously resonate with each other to yield somehow a feeling of irritation. We call it “tori-awase” (combination/contrast), i.e., collision of different things often produces poetic sentiment. This is undoubtedly a haiku of the autumn. That’s my thought.

  4. I have similar thoughts as Hisashi… no apparent relationship between the poets anger and the moon appearing to drift among the clouds, yet a curious resonance springing from the combination of these two moments.

    My first reaction from reading this poem was to “ha, hah” out loud. Pure joy perhaps at the poem evoking something from within me before thinking about what it could be.

    Thinking about this poem and contrast mentioned by Hisashi makes me look at the moon in different ways: Human anger and the calming/reflective effects of the moon of a moonviewing event? Human anger and the moon of love? Human anger and moon playing hide and seek for some reason. Another vote for Autumn haiku.

  5. Somehow the moon makes my discomfort inconsequential in comparison to its beauty-yes, I feel a personal connection to this poem, which makes it so attractive to me to read.

    Every month now we enjoy a moon viewing party on line-I would include this without hesitation as an autumn haiku.

  6. Because of the personal emotion, I feel it’s a tanka rather than a haiku, and it could be rephrased:

    not knowing
    what to do about
    this anger:
    the moon drifts
    among the clouds

    It doesn’t, however, become any better a poem for doing that. ‘Tis good as is.

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