From the Icebox inbox 10 – sand & water

.
last light–
i follow my shadow
into the kuwait desert
(tori inu)

…… warm sand
…… trickles through my fingers ~
…… two gulls drift apart
……  … (gerry bravi)

White masts stand against
the blue river: boats sailing
in the frozen yard.
(Tim Napier)

…… punting upstream
…… red leaves swirling behind –
…… boatman’s song echoes
……  … (ming)

A rag doll sinking –
waves of ocean wipe its eyes
painted in black ink
(Clelia Ifrim)

Encouraging/critical comments, welcome!
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2 Responses to “From the Icebox inbox 10 – sand & water”

  1. John Dougill Says:

    These are all intriguing poems, though I’m not sure if these posters or poems have anything in common as there’s no indication in the headings. The Kuwait reference in the first verse is clear enough: the others are all to do with water, though in the second verse the reference is only to gulls. There’s warm sand in one verse, red leaves in another and a frozen pond in a third, so it’s difficult to get a handle on the season. I love the idea of following your shadow into the desert in the first verse, particularly since I once lived in Kuwait myself. I love the idea of warm sand trickling through fingers and the enigmatic gulls drifting apart (metaphor for lovers?). Boats sailing in a frozen yard is puzzling…. the punting verse evokes a nice image, and the last verse has a wonderful picture of a rag doll with its painted eyes turning watery in the ocean. That’s marvellous, though I can’t help wondering why ‘waves of ocean’ when ‘ocean waves’ would be neater and more natural…

  2. Just as John, above, I too like the ideas presented in the first two poems:

    For me, the first poem brings about a curious mystery; who? why? added with the historical image, or memory, of Kuwait in Gulf War I. last light is an interesting phrase in the context of this poem.

    In the second poem, I like the effects the combination of the tactile image (warm sand) and the visual image (gulls drift apart) created. I wonder, though, if trickles is the best word, or if its needed? perhaps one verb (drift) would be enough?

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