I like the idea of the haiku but not so much the form. The comings and goings of our neighbours seems a bit prosaic, on top of which the long first line and shorter second one upsets me a bit… maybe I’m too much of a formalist, but I’d prefer ‘our neighbours/ coming and going/ snow dust’. The haiku leaves one thinking about the connection (or non=connection!) of snow dust and the neighbours… Nice.
I’m a fan of the final version, too– not only do you have two different images, but also two different registers of language: the first two lines rooted in the human and everyday, the third in the evanescent, seasonal, poetic. Would “come & go” be TOO minimalist? –Ellis