falling

thump

sun fingers

the forest snow

THUMP

no-one is here

6 Responses to “falling”

  1. This is very original, David. The photo is beautiful and sets the poem off to good effect. Nice to return to winter after Hisashi’s presumptive blast of spring and my ambivalent Mexican mist. Don’t colours look wonderful against the dark inside our Icebox?

  2. Even to my ageing ear, the thump of snow fall sounds well, touched by the sun’s finger. Silence of the forest, well expressed. The part of snow touched by the tree-filtered sun must be very brightly shining. Is this a new form of five line haiku?

  3. John Dougill Says:

    What an atmospheric photo!

    Would the poem (haiku?) not be better with just the first three lines? ‘sun fingers’ is wonderfully poetic and goes nicely with the thump… The last two lines seem redundant and detract from the concision….

  4. The photo and the verse, how well-matched they are! I can hear the thump sound in the photo.

  5. “Fingers” is a great verb! Both vivid and beautiful on its own, and perfectly sets up the “thump” of sun-warmed snow slipping off the branches. A treat!

  6. …but perhaps I agree with the writer who proposed doing without the last two lines– or at least the last line.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: