from the Icebox inbox – 14

cat

riding home

in the bicycle basket

– the glowing gibbous moon

………….……………………….. (Ursula Maierl)

Arrêt à Gadagne –

Jeune fille aux baskets rouges

Balance sa jambe.

…………………………………… (Kamome)

(Halt at Gadagne - / Young girl in red sneakers / Swings her leg.)

I heard your fiddle

Bow ensnarled in raven hair

The last song we wrote

With neither bang nor whimper*

Some things just end-–unnoticed

………..…………………………. (David Sinex)

*Borrowed from The Hollow Men, T. S. Eliot

lotus position–

in my ears

heartbeats

………..…………………………. (tori inu)

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8 Responses to “from the Icebox inbox – 14”

  1. Which (if any) of these, do you think, is a haiku – and why?

    • David Sinex Says:

      Actually mine was written as a Tanka 5-7-5-7-7.

      • That’s why we have the category ‘tanka’ just under the posting heading, David. Everyone will recognize yours is the tanka. I was interested to see if anyone thought that perhaps one or two of the other poems might actually be haiku. The categories I listed above give you an idea of the range of probable genres is the current inbox. Really appreciate your contributions, and hope you didn’t mind my removal of your original punctuation. I felt that it broke the tanka into too many pieces…

  2. David Sinex Says:

    Tito,

    I hope you didn’t find my comment offensive, that was not in any way my intent. As for the punctuation, you are the editor, and I have no problem with the changes.

    David

  3. Richard Donovan Says:

    Kamome, c’est intéressant de voir le mot français “baskets” pour l’anglais “sneakers” (日本語でスニーカー) — ça me rappelle du japanais バスケット “basuketto”, d’une fois encore une abréviation de l’anglais “basketball”. Comme c’est drôle, de telle appropriation des mots étrangers!

    • Salut Richard,

      Merci de ton petit mot sur mon petit poème. Oui: gare, dans la ‘translittération’, aux ‘faux amis’ adaptés des langues étrangères. Sinon, la véritable traduction est foutue! Les néerlandais nomment la robe d’été des femmes un ‘zon-japon’ – le fameux ‘wan-piisu’ des japonaises. Voir les paroles en flamand de la chanson de Jacques Brel ‘Mon Plat Pays’ – ‘Mijn Flakke Land’. Traducteurs! Faites attention de ne pas faire flâner vos femmes vêtues d’un quoi que ce soit japonais ‘ensoleillé’!Ça évoquerait un peu le drapeau national. Ce serait une image assez saisissante …

      Kamome

  4. John Dougill Says:

    What a great word that ‘gibbous’ is!… and how melodious it sounds in juxtaposition with ‘glowing’… I wonder if an adjective applied to the ‘cat’ at the beginning might add an extra dimension… Bewitched cat; patch-eyed cat; plump old ginger…. furry feline… terrified puss? Nonetheless the cat in a basket and the gibbous moon are a lovely combination of images…

    As for the sound of heartbeats in the lotus position, I’m wondering if a seasonal word might not add an extra element…

    in my ears
    not crickets, but heartbeats

    Just a thought, which of course is not the point of meditation at all but they do keep popping up don’t they……

  5. I’m so charmed by the cat in the bike basket image!

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