Hmmmnn. When I first read it i thought, ‘No way is this a haiku moment – or a haiku!’. Then I read it again and thought, ‘well, maybe it is.’. Now I’m not at all sure… either way. Be interested to hear what others think.
It’s gotta be this heat that has affected our fearless leader’s brain. Or else he is again changing the rules of haiku. Either way, I feel like setting a trap for that mouse.
My first thought: (Well, it made me laugh and and grin, initially)
Call this “gendai”, the connotation of a Westerner’s narrow definition of something odd, though contemporary.
I recognize no kigo, unless we denote a computer as a modern kigo, certainly a powerful icon and, in the wrong hands, a willful instrument.
I detect some irony and a bit of whimsical cynicism here, as caused by the near rhyming effect between L2 and L3.
Could it be seasonal humidity that has induced a squeal of protest from the corroding rodent? If so, perhaps someone should construct a poignant statuary counterpoint to the Tree of Repose entitled “Rodent’s The Squeaker”. Think on it, Stephen….
I think the first two lines could lead to some type of haiku yet, not quite there for me, personally. If the third line presented an image that captures the feelings the author would like to share, instead of stating those feelings, then this would fit in more clearly as one of my ideas for what a haiku is. Now, after saying that, I do believe so called haiku rules, or commandments, are just guidelines, which could be bent, stretched, or loop-holed into existence.
I like the possibilities which could suggest that the “squeak” is either a live creature, beside the keyboard, or perhaps the sound of a broken piece of equipment. I think it a real mouse…
I agree with you entirely! This mouse verse was a little provocation to see if there was anyone out there and not a true Tito. Now you have surfaced, kindly tell me what the score is on the Ohara June renga. If too busy, would you like me to finish it off, with David perhaps? Hisashi is ‘out’ until the end of the year (I saw him at YBC on Thu.). By the way, is this the best way to contact you? I tried in vain your home and mobile numbers and email address several times this summer, hoping to see you or at least to talk. Hope you’ve seen the Snail 41. Otherwise, check the Events page here? Great to know the Gerald hailstone is orbiting again. See you? And thanks!