5 responses to “Thirst

  1. My live comment: The swallow will decide to go back soon to the south, wishing that the river were a big beer mug! Just now, we are in the zone of the Typhoon No. 17. Violent rain and wind!

  2. You posted this before the rivers started to swell with rain. Was this a prediction? Although I cannot see the bird seen by H, I too am confused by your third line. You come across as a giant whose thirst can only be slaked by rivers!

  3. Superb! I love the effect of the third line, suggesting that, for the poet, a river, under normal circumstances, would be quite swallowable.

    I am reminded of the first ku of mine that Mainichi published (long long ago):

    after the rain
    the river
    its weight

    There’s a sense in which David’s haiku succeeds in realising what mine merely reached for. Excellent work.

  4. Sorry, I do not understand the title, ‘Thirst’. Probably, the title was added after the haiku was completed, induced by the word ‘swallow’.But what kind of thirst are you tryiing to express? For me, both of these words sound a bit contrived. Kikaku would have liked them, but Basho would have disagreed. (NY)

  5. Intrigued by the first line. Is it coming? Is it here? The answer seems to be confirmed in the remaining lines. This poem seems to suggest both observation and real-time experience. An additional mystery for me is embedded in the word “this” which suggests a uncomfortable nearness to the threat. So, where is the poet? Along a riverbank? On a boat?