West and East

West and East

. Soaked in the dusk
. Sunset in the West
. Turning over the East is
. A gray sky with no light
. Where its edge cut,
. A white building

にしひがし

暮れなずむ西に入り陽東には
光なき雲切る白きビル

2 Responses to “West and East”

  1. Thanks, Nori. Is this Hawaii? I managed to meld your original two posts into one. Hopefully this is now OK?
    Posting photos with poetry is always a tricky matter. You may have noticed that, following Gerald’s comment on the last post (‘stone’), I have deleted the photo originally meant to go with my haiku there. Reason: although the deer was not visible in the photo, the photo contained too much distracting/confusing information. Possibly it spoilt the impact of the little sound. Your two photos perfectly match the imagery in the tanka, but might they also be detracting from the imaginative effect the poem alone would have had? I will not delete either of them, however, as this dialogue is an interesting one and others may feel differently. There is certainly an incremental beauty in including them.
    As to the English version of the tanka you have given us, I wonder if your 3rd line might not be better as:
    And over in the East
    … and your 4th and 5th together as:
    Sombre clouds cut into by
    So there’s plenty to chew on!

    • Aloha, I am in Hawai’i again. Thank you very much for combining my two postings. How nice your layout is! And I always appreciate your examination so that I can get some nuance of natural English.

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