Spring or not?

Here’s a haiqua penned today in Kitasaga. As it stands, does it evoke early spring… and, if so, why? Or should I tweak it/chuck it?

Littered mud
from big tyres
along the track –
a kite hunts low

Advertisements

a cirku for comments

 

(Kitasaga, Kyoto, 21.8.14)

 

Click on the photo to enlarge and read the cirku.

Questions: (1) Would the haiku have been better without the photo or (2) as a one- or two-liner rather than as a cirku?

As comments, your opinions, please.

fire & water

.

Now that the mountain
Has burst into flame
Begging the river
Not to put it out.

(Arashiyama, 28.11.13)

My friend’s haiku

I went to my former apartment to have a talk with some residents there. It felt like old alumni meeting up.

During our four hours of chat, one person asked me to translate her haiku. They are important to her because she made these when she was recovering from illness. She wanted to see how they sounded in English. So I tried some translations, but I’d appreciate others’ feedback.

月燃えて地に光の矢放ちけり
Down to the globe
The blazing moon shoots
Arrows of light

宵闇をきらきらと縫ふ翼の灯
Lights of the wing
Twinkles like a stitch
Dark evening sky

Melting Snow

.

A veil is shed

From the distant Paps of Ohara:

The jay knocks down

More melting snow.

(Mount Ogura, Kyoto, 11.2.11)

betrayal

snow whips

full-blown cherrytrees

–

he finds a hole

in his heart

Moonlight

Early this morning, the following haiku came to me from a moment of real experience. In a curious way, it struck me as meaningful, although I didn’t intend it to be. Has anyone else had this sort of experience, I wonder – where innocent haiku occasionally seem to be symbolic? You could just as well say, of course, “It’s rubbish!”

…on the roof terrace

……tying a rotten rope

………by autumn moonlight

……………………….(Saga, Kyoto, 5.9.09)