(Kitasaga, Kyoto, 21.8.14)
Click on the photo to enlarge and read the cirku.
Questions: (1) Would the haiku have been better without the photo or (2) as a one- or two-liner rather than as a cirku?
As comments, your opinions, please.
Now that the mountain
Has burst into flame
Begging the river
Not to put it out.
I went to my former apartment to have a talk with some residents there. It felt like old alumni meeting up.
During our four hours of chat, one person asked me to translate her haiku. They are important to her because she made these when she was recovering from illness. She wanted to see how they sounded in English. So I tried some translations, but I’d appreciate others’ feedback.
Down to the globe
The blazing moon shoots
Arrows of light
Lights of the wing
Twinkles like a stitch
Dark evening sky
A veil is shed
From the distant Paps of Ohara:
The jay knocks down
More melting snow.
(Mount Ogura, Kyoto, 11.2.11)
he finds a hole
in his heart
Early this morning, the following haiku came to me from a moment of real experience. In a curious way, it struck me as meaningful, although I didn’t intend it to be. Has anyone else had this sort of experience, I wonder – where innocent haiku occasionally seem to be symbolic? You could just as well say, of course, “It’s rubbish!”
…on the roof terrace
……tying a rotten rope
………by autumn moonlight
……………………….(Saga, Kyoto, 5.9.09)
furusato ni mikka to narinu kudzu no hana
Three days have passed
At my dear old father’s house —
Kudzu vine blooms.
* kudzu vine: a climbing summer plant which is often found growing quickly along the Japanese riverbanks and fields with reddish-purple flowers
Hope any of you will put in some suggestions/corrections for my English version!